Oompah Loompahs

Great time at salsa last night, the class flew by and there were TWICE as many men as women - how is that for a Manhattan novelty? Alan, an ex, always like to claim there were seven single women to every single man in Manhattan – wishful thinking on his part I think, but sometimes it certainly feels true. There's very little Sex & The City going on at my apartment I'll tell you that for nothing. Apparently the ratio is supposedly more like 81 single men to every 100 single women, which sounds a bit too optimistic to me, so I’m betting it doesn’t take the gay ones into account - sexual preference probably isn't a question on the census. You only have to take a look around the city's restaurants where women dine in packs alongside couples to feel that straight single men are a rare commodity in this town, so I am absolutely thrilled by the odds in salsa.

Who'd have thought that men were so into partner dancing? Must be all the hip wiggling the women do that attracts them - and the fact that they lead so they get to boss women around on the dance floor. Have to say it’s hard to let you self be led, especially when a guy gets the lead a bit wrong. I'm a bit resistant to it, in a "don't push me around, I'm independent" kind of way.

Still haven’t managed to brave going out to clubs just yet, but have upped the ante to 3 classes a week and loving it. I am meeting lots of new people which is all to the good, because quite frankly my friends have ditched me as far as the dancing is concerned, despite initial enthusiasm for classes, but who needs them when I have the lovely Salsa Beppe to take me dancing. He asked yesterday if I'd be interested in going to a social with him sometime. Swoon. I played it cool and casually said 'sure' and gave him my business card so he could email me, but internally I was thinking 'Absolutely Beppe. Ab-so-f**king lutely'. I suppose I really should make an effort to find out his real name. I was so thrilled he suggested we go dancing sometime that I completely forgot to ask.

I only wish I was enjoying the attention from the men on the healthy singles dating site half as much as the salsa boys. Honestly I don’t think there’s a normal one among them. I don’t understand it, when I had my pre sign up perusal of the site the men looked normal enough, but for some reason the ones that have been winking and emailing me have a fondness for posting photographs of themselves holding body building poses, while wearing just a pair of teensy black briefs to cover their modesty. Gag!!

WHAT ARE THEY THINKING???? Could it be because men would probably like to see pics of women wearing nothing more than a bikini on dating sites, that they assume women like the same types of pics of men? Some of the photos leave very little to the imagination. Poor deluded boys. I would be interested to know how many requests for dates they've had since I couldn't even bring myself to go for a coffee with a guy who thinks posing in his pants – in the British sense - is a good look. Many of them also appear to have a serious fake tan abuse problem and have skin with such a severe orange hue it looks as if they’re suffering with a serious beta-carotene imbalance. Ash has nicknamed them the Oompah Loompahs.

I got a note from a guy today and almost snorted my tuna salad up my nose when I read this snippet from his profile.

"I adore muscles on women, they turn me on. I also love to be lifted and carried by a strong woman. People have told me that makes me submissive, but that's it. Extra points for body builders, martial artists, and erotic wrestling. NY/NJ/CT preferred. Must be D & D free, and adventurous."

I don't think he caught the bit where I listed myself as 5ft 1 and 110lbs. Can you imagine my trying to carrying him around, he's only 5ft 8, but still.....

At least he’s honest I suppose. Better to know that now than discover it later. Miles on the other hand thinks I should go on at least one date, because ‘surely there must be at least one decent bloke’, but I don’t think so. I'll hedge my bets with the salsa boys I think.