Wow....June already!!!

I can't believe it's been almost a month since my last post. I had all these good intentions to write more and had been trying to stick to a writing exercise called 'morning pages', where you pretty much write 3 pages of anything that falls out of your brain, in the hope that it would result in an inspiration to post more on my blog, but that lasted a whole 2 days and only resulted in one post - the one before this - before work commitments interfered.

Sigh!!

I used to be able to write so easily, but that's not the case anymore. It's hard to find the time, although oddly I find it easier to write on a weekday even when I am exhausted from working all day, than I do on a Saturday or Sunday, because there's something repellent about sitting in front of a computer on a weekend after I've spent the last 5 days doing the very same thing, that stops me from writing even when I'm doing nothing more than lounging around on the sofa watching reruns of Law & Order that I've seen at least twice before.

I can't exactly pinpoint what changed that's made it so hard to write, but I strongly suspect becoming a manager of a team last year had something to do with it. I manage 4 people, a small team in the scheme of things, and they are fantastic, but 3 of them need a good amount of guidance and it's not easy to manage them effectively as well as keep up to speed with everything that's going on with the clients I'm responsible for. It also doesn't help that one of my client leads - someone who was tough to work with, but who I developed a great relationship with over the last 7years - resigned a couple of weeks ago which was a big loss for my team so now I am having to try and schmooze for business with new clients, something that doesn't come naturally to me, I'm not a natural born schmoozer, but I am good at building relationships with existing clients and keeping them happy so that they stay with the Agency, but unfortunately schmoozing is the priority right now.

Quite honestly I'm exhausted, I don't know how people with children do it, personally I'm praying for a lottery win!!

Not a great start to the week

I got completely soaked coming into the office this morning. I pondered taking a cab, but then I thought about the $1,200 I owe on my credit card and decided that spending money on taxis was way too frivolous, besides the rain honestly wasn’t that bad when I walked to the subway station at 86th street, it was when I got out at Times Square 20minutes later that it became a problem. Gushing is probably the best word I can think of to describe it. The early bird tourists were all pressed like sardines into a Starbucks off Broadway peering through steamed up windows as they sheltered from the downpour.


It was so bad, like someone had turned a tap on and the gutters were already over flowing meaning I had to jump a good 2 feet of accumulated rain water at the east and west side of every avenue I crossed. Thank heavens for waterproof sneakers. Gore-Tex is the best, however I am thinking that maybe I should invest in some Hunter Wellies like every other woman in NYC since a good foot of my jeans, from the ankle to about 3inches below the knee, was drenched by the time I got into the office, not to mention dusted with puddle dirt. Lovely!! I literally had to wring them out before I could change into the heels I wear around the office.

As for the hair, well it's a disaster and I shall be avoiding mirrors and reflective surfaces for the day. When I went into the bathroom to wash my hands of subway pole germs I took one look at my hair and knew it was a lost cause. It looks a complete bugger; so much for spending twenty minutes carefully drying it this morning. Sigh!!

I really should have got that taxi this morning, it would have been a good investment, and at the very least would have prevented me from getting the cold I will surely catch as the office air conditioning freeze dries my sodden jeans to my legs.

Note: Photo of NYC in the rain by Aidan

How fast the weekend goes

Good Lord is it almost time to go back to work again? I am so so so jealous of it being a Bank Holiday weekend in the UK, not that they have the weather to enjoy it according to my mother when I called her today.

Not much going on with me anyway, things are much the same. There was a bit of excitement last week when I had a run in with a Diva from the research department at the other end of the floor from where we sit. It bothered me at the time as conflict never sits well with me as I have a hard time letting these kind of incidents go, but I've got over it now since I've discovered that the person in question really is the most unpleasant person, but at the time I was niggled by it. I'm just way too sensitive when it comes to conflict and for this reason I think I should have known better than to say anything to this particular person since while I don't really know her I've definitely had the sense that she is not the most pleasant person from the way she carries herself. She has a very aggressive way about her. Generally I am a friendly sort at work and I smile and say hello to people I know on sight if I pass them in the hallway, but all I've ever received in return from this particular person is a disdainful look, so definitely not the friendliest sort, but hey I don't like to judge on initial impressions since I could well have been wrong!!

I wasn't as it turned out!!

It sounds so petty to relate the story now as it sounds like I am making mountains out of molehills, but last week Diva came over to our side of the floor and squatted in one of the group rooms by my team - group rooms, may I just add, that are intended for ad-hoc team meetings and not to be hogged by people using them as temporary office space for the day. Whatever anyway, that didn't bother me too much, it was more that she spent the day coughing noisily every 10seconds. So loudly and consistently in fact that the noise permeated through both the glass walls of the group room AND the noise reduction headphones I was wearing to listen to music and drown her out.

After about 6hours of this she began to wear on me and I just couldn't concentrate on the deck I was trying to pull together for my client.

Now admittedly I'm not the most patient of people, but hey I did suffer it for 6hours before saying something, and when my team member Stephanie - most mellow person ever - complained about the noise and Andrew chimed in that it was disrupting his concentration I knew it wasn't just a case of my being overly sensitive. Around 6pm I saw her gather up her stuff to leave the room so I walked over to politely ask if she wouldn't mind inquiring about booking a conference room - placed in the centre of the office space and away from everyone's desks - if she needed space to work in future.

Apparently this was the rudest thing ever, because from the way she reacted you'd have thought I'd suggested she regularly shagged goats or something. "I'm ill," she glared "and you are not being very sympathetic to my situation."

WTF!!! Damn straight I'm not sympathetic to your situation since not only are you disrupting my team from doing their client work, but you are selfishly spreading your germs throughout the office.

"This is not an ideal situation for me to work in the group room", she continued "but I didn't want to disturb the rest of the people in my department, by working at my desk."

Oh riiiiiigggghhhhht...so she knew full well her coughing was disruptive to her own team, but thought she'd come sit by us and disturb our department and then call me rude for politely asking her to book a conference room? Seriously some people!!

I couldn't believe it to be honest with you, but nevertheless I did my best pretense at diplomacy and heard myself insincerely spouting the pat phrases I have heard so often on episodes of The Real Housewives Of New York City - there's always dramaz on that show. I was all "oh I am sorry you feel that way" and "I apologise if I offended you" when internally I was thinking "What the f*** is going on here I asked you if you would look into booking a conference room for chrissakes you mentaller."

Ugh, I hate dealing with people like that and it upset me sufficiently for the next couple of hours, so much so that I made no further progress on my client deliverable which was due the next day and I finally gave up when I found myself rewriting the same sentences several times, and cabbed it home and broke my resolution to not drink alone at home* by stopping at the offie for a bottle of Cabernet in order to get sufficiently trollied so as not to give a shit when I inevitably and repeatedly relived the encounter and thus preventing myself from dropping off to sleep.

It's times like these that I can't help but wish I was a more laid back type who could shrug off these incidents, but I'm not, I'm wayyyyyy more sensitive. You can bet your bottom dollar that new laid back eye candy Tom wouldn't let some be-atch from research harsh his mellow!! Tom is also twenty seven - what is it with me and boys of late. "You're making quite a habit of lusting after young men these days" said Nigel at brunch today. The cheek of him pointing out the truth like that!!

Actually it's hard not to appreciate Tom and in the two weeks he's been at the agency he's already acquired quite the fan club among the ladies of the office. Well, with the exception of Debs who declared that he's "too much of an all American jock type for my tastes." Claire, his manager, was telling me last week that she has a really hard time if she takes him to meetings and the team is mostly female since they are all far too busy staring at Tom to actually accomplish anything ha ha!! She said it is equally hilarious and exasperating to experience, and she worries that "Tom will have a hard time being taken seriously, because of his looks."

Personally I think he'll do just fine. He seems oblivious of the attention to date. Let's face it, he's probably used to it, it's probably the story of his life. Personally I'm thinking Claire should take advantage of the female adoration he inspires because if he turns out to be as good at his job as he is attractive then she may well find it useful to send him in to sell in some of the larger projects they are considering for some of their clients since from what she tells me it sounds like some of the female clients may well be too busy making goo goo eyes at him to turn down the funding.

I have to say I am quite flattered to note that I catch Tom staring at me whenever I chat to my team, however I know that's just the accent working it's magic. Sometimes it has that effect on people, although in the 10years I've lived here it's never been especially useful in getting me dates. It seems to work like a dream for some English women, but it's an asset I don't wield well. In fact I'm treated more like a performing monkey in the office at times, like last week when they were having me say 'cheeseburger', because apparently it sounds "much more sophisticated" in my flattened Northern vowels...um...okay...sure it does!!

Americans...I love them, but they can definitely be weird at times!! :-)

*Sadly I just have to come to terms with that I am not very French when it comes to alcohol. I don't have one glass of wine, savour the flavour of it and put the cork back in for the next day, I'm more of a open the bottle, savour the flavour, pour myself a second glass type of person. What can I say I'm just one of life's quaffers and I think the best offense to that is to not have a bottle in the house at all.

Ugh, I think I just saw a mouse....

I just saw the tail end of it scuttle from behind my TV and around the corner of my living room into my kitchen. At least I hope it was a mouse, because if it wasn't that was one big cockroach!!! Ugh ugh ugh!! I can't bear thinking about that. Much as I hate the idea of a mouse cockroaches are wayyyyy worse as far as I am concerned. This is probably because I had a hamster as a child, Snowflake, so I am far more comfortable with disease carrying rodents than insects. I was tormented by a mouse a few years ago which once gave me the fright of my life when I got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night - my bathroom is off my kitchen, oh the joy of New York living - and it popped out of my toaster!! My toaster!!!! Noooooooooooo!! Naturally I got rid of my toaster immediately. Shudder!!

Ah great, now I am scared to venture into the kitchen to make a cup of tea!!

Ooohh it's been a nippy ol' day in New York today. Yesterday was glorious, close to 70 degrees with clear blue skies, but today...well it's chalk and cheese, dreary, wet and cold. Winter seems to have made an unwelcome return, although you'd be surprised at the number of people I saw stubbornly shivering in their summer togs. Admittedly temperatures did hit the 90s for a couple of days in March, but still, that's not exactly typical for this time of year, so it seemed a smidgen foolhardy and premature to be breaking out the flip flops, shorts and tank tops and relegating the jumpers to the top of the wardrobe.

At least the bad weather meant that I didn't feel too upset to be in work today, not that I was overjoyed, but I didn't feel that I was missing out too much, since I probably would have just blobbed on the couch all afternoon. I chose to go in, rather than out of necessity, as I knew that if I put in a few hours this weekend it would significantly lessen the burden for the upcoming week, so I popped in for half a day. I was going to bring my laptop home and continue working into the evening - I had to be home between 4-6pm to receive a grocery delivery - but after 3hours I felt so exhausted that I knew it would be pointless to lug the laptop home as it would only sit unopened on my desk giving me the evil eye and making me feel guilty. Instead I got my domestic Goddess on and made a batch of spiced nuts and seeds as a healthy snack to take into the office. I am into making food from scratch as much as I possibly can these days since that way I know exactly what's in it. You can find the recipe for the spiced nuts and seeds here if you are interested, but I have to say, it's not my favourite, it's much spicier than I expected - duh, the clue is sort of in the title eh. I don't know why I thought it would be sweeter, although the 2 tablespoons of honey probably had something to do with it - but I suppose in some ways it's a good thing since if I had loved it I probably would have scarfed down the whole lot in one go and you'd have to roll me into work tomorrow.

As for the office today, well it was surprisingly busy, which was just typical since I'd barely made any effort at all with my appearance: my hair was limp from being left to dry naturally, I didn't have a scrap of make up on and the white shirt, jeans and runners combo I was wearing was barely a step up from sweatpants - which I'd admittedly considered wearing. Thankfully I didn't run into anyone I've been hoping to impress with my usual understated elegance (ahem) such as the various crushes I have loitering about the building. Actually...I'm pretty much done with my crush on the Strategy Hottie - I know, I'm fickle that way - which has been waning ever since I discovered he has a girlfriend. Aesthetically he's still very pleasing on the eye, but I've also been kind of put off him since he can be quite odd about saying hello when we occasionally pass each other in the hallway (probably about once or twice a week max), which I find more than a tad standoffish given we were in the same group at the graduate trainee assessment day a month ago. Not that we were ultra chatty at the assessment day, but helloooooo, we've met, so is it that hard to nod a hello? It's weird, especially as rumour has it, among those who know him, that he's a really lovely guy, but...shrug...that's not the impression he gives me. Who cares anyway, because drumroll please, there's new eye candy in town...ohhhh yes...the lovely Tom, tall, toned and um...twenty seven!! What is it with me crushing on the younger men these days?? Arf!! (that's my cougar impression). Actually Tom is quite a hit with all the ladies in the department with his deep voice, laid back demeanor and twinkling brown eyes. How envious they all are that he sits opposite me!! Ha ha!!

And last but not least there's the Creative Cutie who I was concerned may have been one of the 67 resignations that are rumoured to have occurred over a recent 2week period (seriously 67; that's like 10% of the workforce), but phew, what a relief it was to spot him by the lifts on my floor late last week. He continues to stare at me, but says nothing and I continue to feel slightly uncomfortable, albeit somewhat flattered, about the staring*, but try my best to smile encouragement, because he's a good looking bloke, reminding me quite a lot of the actor, Loren Dean, who plays Bones' brother on the TV Show and I'd go out on a date with him in a second if only he'd ask, but....nada!!! Am I blowing my own trumpet a bit too much do you think? I mentioned the situation to my Brit friend Nigel at dinner at the scrumptious Cafe Chili in Boerum Hill a few weeks ago and he was quick to point out that just because Creative Cutie stares it doesn't mean he is interested in actually doing anything about it.

"I stare at women all the time, but I have no interest in dating them," said Nigel.

Um...thank you Nigel you old lech, thank God you're here to prevent my ego from over-inflating since if I were left to my own devices my head would never get through the door eh!! Eyeroll!! ;-)

*While all the while wondering whether my mascara is running down my face, or if I've accidentally spilled coffee on myself

Phewwwwwwwwwww!!!

I found out last week that Jack's recent prolonged absences from his desk of late don't mean that he's been sneaking off to interview, but instead he's been drafted to work on a short term pro bono project with upper management who are keeping him busy with a multitude of meetings!!!

Phew!! I am so happy that he's not interviewing. At least not yet.

Ohhh the joys of agency life

I have a small team of three that support me on client work at the agency and I really couldn’t ask for a better bunch of people. My team are amazing, they are one of the biggest reasons I stay at the agency, because God knows it isn’t for the money, so it’s been a bit of a cause that I noticed one of my star team members, Jack, was away from his desk for a reasonably lengthy amount of time, at least a couple of hours, on Friday and Monday. To my, potentially paranoid, mind it seemed to be a long enough period to be off doing all sorts of things, such as taking a cab to go to a job interview elsewhere in Manhattan.

Gulp!!

Ugh, I really hope that’s not the case, I would hate to lose him, but if it is…well I can’t say I would blame him, he’s fantastic at what he does, the clients and account teams completely adore him, but the agency doesn’t pay him anywhere near what he’s worth – me either for that matter, it’s a mystery why I stay* - and I am powerless to do anything beyond making a ruckus on the unfairness of the situation, which I do on a regular basis, so much so in fact that I suspect I may be acquiring something of a reputation as a pain in the arse with my head of department, but someone has to stick up for the young uns eh!! Sadly the agency just doesn’t appreciate loyalty, it’s a truth of the world of the advertising agencies that to be paid what you deserve you have to go to the bother of leaving and coming back, because only then will you be paid a competitive rate as a 'new' employee.

People are not happy where I work, you can feel it in the air, and despite promises of salary increases come the 3rd quarter rumor has it that a recent two week period saw 67 resignations across the agency - I know of 4, but I have no clue who the other 63 people might be, but come to think of it sightings of the Creative Cutie** have been as rare as hen's teeth of late. Oh no!! - meanwhile those of us that are crazy enough to remain have to listen to the powers that be spout bollocks about how they are going to great lengths to hire the best talent, and no doubt pay them a best talent salary. Um what are we…chopped liver??? Um…here's a novel idea, but how about you try investing in the people you already have???

Seriously the attitude of senior management just blows my mind, especially given that as an agency we regularly spout such pearls of marketing wisdom to our clients about how it costs 5 times more to acquire a new customer than it does to retain an old one. 5 times!!!

Um…hello agency management…employees here…how much do you think it costs to hire and train a new person vs. giving a pay rise to motivate current, highly loyal employees???? I'll leave you to ponder that for a moment.

It's infuriating, but I see it all the time when I scope projects for clients, since there is a woman I work with who is more junior than me, but is charged out at a slightly higher rate and it's a well known fact that daily rates are based upon employee salaries, so....it doesn't take a genius to figure it out.

I casually queried the situation with my head of dept one day whose response was to feign puzzlement. Seriously this guy should NOT quit his day job to pursue an acting career, because there's no Oscar in his future I can tell you that for nothing.

"Oh that is weird that her day rate is higher than yours. Perhaps you should go and speak to [account lead] and ask him why that is."

Uh-huh, yeah right, it's a BIG mystery what's going on here. Could it be that she is paid a higher salary for less responsibility than I have? Hmmmm, let me ponder that for a second!!! Um YES, I think that may well be the case.

I've no beef*** with the person in question, I like her a lot and fair play to her for negotiating a better salary, but the unjustness of the situation is maddening. I don't know, maybe I should just cut my losses and leave for pastures new.


*Actually it’s no big mystery at all. Truth be told I’m feeling somewhat disillusioned by my chosen career path and fantasize about winning the lottery on a regular basis. I’m just not feeling the love anymore and I’m not convinced that this is the career for me and well, the jobs I am being approached about are somewhat senior and I just don’t know that I want to go somewhere new and take on the responsibility of generating revenue and motivating a team when I can barely drag my own sorry carcass through the week. The truth is that the people I work with and the comfort factor of knowing how things are done at my current job are a big reason why I stay, but the salary is fast becoming a dealbreaker!!

**My crush on the Strategy Hottie has waned since finding out from Anna that he has a girlfriend. Thanks Anna for almost extinguishing the small flame of hope I had, I really appreciate it ;-) I would have said completely extinguishing, but then I almost collided with him outside the lifts today and my stomach flipped so violently I almost vomited. How attractive THAT would have been!!

***That's such an odd turn of phrase don't you find??

Suckered

Yesterday I received the following email from my account lead

From: John
To: Fish, Jack, Sujana, Sarah, Andrea
Date: 04/01/2010 11:59 AM
Subject: URGENT: Client meeting


All,

I need your collective brains asap. Can you meet at 12.15pm (meeting room on 9 by Fish's office)?

Long story which I will explain when we meet face to face.

Thanks

John

Uh-oh!!! Trouble brewing!!

We met and John explained that he'd just had an awful call with two of the NA clients and their client database manager, Oliver, who told him that they'd found out that database records had been changed for 16 customers after 4 of them had called in to complain about incorrect information in their statements. An internal investigation had apparently been carried out by the client and Oliver said that no-one on his team had made any changes and it must have been someone on our team.

I was gobsmacked. I was mortified. Question my or my team's integrity? How very dare they!!!!!! I was seething!!!

"How can they even suggest we'd do such a thing," I said completely indignant. "We only have read only access to the database so there's no way we can upload changes. The only way something could have happened is through the live toolset and even then...."

"But that's read only too," said Jack.

"It's really serious," said John "this is really going to affect us working with the client if we cannot resolve it, and Oliver is ready to throw us under the bus with our NA client, we could lose the business."

"Well if someone did change the record you should be able to trace it back to their login ID," I responded, "it will prove we had nothing to do with it."

"Ok, well I will talk to them about it, but we also need to discuss this," said John sliding a small square of paper towards me.

On which was written.....

APRIL FOOL!!

Bastard!!!

He completely got me!!

Begrudgingly I was kind of impressed, but next year I will wreak my revenge ;-)

Ideas welcome, answers on a postcard please ;-)