The Continuing Shit Show That Is My Redundancy

So it's come to my attention this week that there is a clause in my separation agreement that basically says they'll pay me the 10 weeks I'm entitled to, BUT...

...I'll receive a check every two weeks AND if I start a new job within the 10 weeks then all payments end!!

The payments end!!!

What the ^%$# is that about???? It's a total kick in the teeth given I've been there almost 11-years. That is sooooo not what the employee handbook implies. It's pretty much squashed any loyalty I had to the company. Ahhh marketing agencies, why do they never $#@&ing follow their own advice to the clients when it comes to their employees, such as the old marketing adage about it costing up to 5 times more to acquire a new customer than it does to retain an old one. Our goal for our clients is often retention and advocacy, but clearly that doesn't carry weight when it comes to employees. Seriously I could scream, although I'm actually going to do something much more productive than that. I'm going to solicit some legal advice via the NYC Bar Association that holds a weekly Pro Bono legal clinic* next week to get some advice, but if there's no way out of it then what's the point in finding a job? I may as well take some time off to enjoy myself, to enhance my skills, to write, to eff off to surf camp in Nicaragua, although the only way I could relax if I did that is if I have a signed commitment to a job waiting for me on my return.

May I ask Americans, is this common treatment when it comes to employees and if so why the hell do you stand for it?

So my job search is moving fast, which is good news, although in some ways it's all moving forward a little faster than I would like given I only sent my resume out into the universe last Thursday afternoon, I've been bombarded with calls from HR people and recruiters. Now obviously that's not a bad problem to have in a country that's experiencing an unemployment rate of close to 9%; there seems to be a lot out there for someone with my skills and experience. It's nice to be niche. Well I'm actually not niche in terms of my qualifications - mathematics degree - but most people who studied with me effed off to finance or accounting. The ones who went into marketing are few and far between. I interviewed with the HR department of a well known agency this morning and by the end of the day they'd contacted me about meeting with the department head at 8am on Tuesday next week, conflicting with my only standing meeting. A good thing to be honest, because I'm interviewing with another agency tomorrow afternoon - one of my interviewers used to work at the agency I am at now, so I know her and...well to say she's moody is putting it mildly, so I'm not exactly enthused at the prospect of working with her, but we'll see, perhaps she's changed!!!** Knowing my luck I'll ace the interview - I'm incredibly charming when I'm not interested and a nervous wreck when it's something I want, but it's all practice.

I'm meeting another recruiter for coffee on Monday, have a call with another on Tuesday and a meeting with the HR department of another agency on Wednesday. I'm trying to schedule the meeting with the department head for Thursday or Friday, but I'm waiting to confirm the availability of an Executive Vice President of another agency who wants to talk to me for 2 hours (2 hours???).

It all sounds incredibly positive doesn't it? People should have my problems, I really am incredibly lucky. Colleagues keep telling me that I should have no trouble at all finding something, nevertheless the prospect of being out of work fills me with dread.

As if I haven't been keeping busy enough with my job search I've also been dating. I didn't resolve to date in 2012, but I did in 2011 and quite honestly totting up my year's accomplishments and realizing I'd only gone on 6 dates made me realize I just wasn't making an effort. I decided that I'd respond to everyone that emailed me*** and see how that went. So far I've been on 2 dates, so already my average dates/month is up fourfold so I'm killing it compared to 2011 ;-)

*Pro Bono!!! How cool is that? It's restored my faith in some lawyers, but clearly not the slimeball that came up with my company's separation agreement. Hanging, drawing and quartering is too good for him/her.

**When hell freezes over ;-)

***Within reason. The 25 year old that sent me a note saying "You look amazing for your age. I just have to say ( gut feeling ) that we should definitely sit down, eat, and talk" will not be receiving a response, because a) he's too young and b) any man that thinks it's a good idea to use the qualifier 'for your age' doesn't deserve a response. What about a simple "You look amazing" the "for your age" part just negates the compliment. Men are idiots!! Why am I trying to date them again.