Decisions decisions

I don’t know about you, but when I’m in a fairly new relationship, the first time I spend a significant amount of time away from the guy I’m seeing – say the two weeks over Christmas – I can’t help but wonder what the impact might be on the relationship. Will it be a case of ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ or more ‘out of sight, out of mind’? Even when the relationship is seemingly going well I can’t help but wonder, especially when I have too much time on my hands as I did when I was at my parents. I’m my own worst enemy, but I can’t help it, my mind just whirls of its own accord…

Most of the time I'm nagged by the feeling that he might be having second thoughts about us, but once the paranoia starts all sorts of ridiculous things creep in, most likely due to the unpleasant behaviour of some of my ex-boyfriends...could he have fallen for someone else? Or perhaps he’s off comforting Cameron Diaz after her recent break up with um…well, whoever-Cameron-Diaz-is-dating-these-days? Where relationships are concerned I can't help but be a bit 'glass is half empty'. It's probably a self protection thing to prepare myself for the worst.

Interjecting for a moment on my insanity I have to say that Tel Aviv - fine upstanding chap that he is - has NEVER given me any cause for such worries, but I’m not one to let a little thing like reality get in the way of enjoying a ride on the emotional rollercoaster. Oh no, not on your Nelly!! I’m what you’d call a worrier you see; it’s just in my nature, we Geminis, we’re ruled by our nervous system. I worry about everything. I even worry when I've nothing to worry about; I tend to have a nagging feeling that I must have missed something. Oh and I also worry that I’ll get worry lines from the stress of all the worrying!!

Surprisingly there isn't a history of mental illness in the family and despite a few insecure niggles I’m actually a firm believer that there’s no point in worrying but that's easier said than done, and having not seen Tel Aviv for over two weeks over Christmas it was with trepidation that I opened an email from him on New Years Day. An email which began “while you were away I had some time to think about our relationship …”

Uh-oh!! I knew IT. Cameron Diaz has him in her clutches. That witch!!

“…and I think I’m falling for you”

Gosh, really? Wow!! Hurrah!!! I completely forgive the indiscretion with Cameron!!

“…I’m planning at some point to return to Israel. I fought for it and therefore I would like to return and raise my family there and I just don’t want to waste your time if that’s not an option for you”

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Fuuuuuuuu………………!!!!!

Phew!!

Talk about mixed emotions!!

Anyway as he said its early days in the relationship, so it’s all contingent on whether we succeed as a couple, but I do appreciate his honesty, there’s never really a good time to mention these things and I can’t say the notion didn’t occur to me when we first started seeing each other, but I like Tel Aviv very much, so recently I’ve been pondering; could I do it, could I live in Israel?

Maybe!!

I’m not sure!!

I don’t know!!

I’m not dead set against the idea, I like Tel Aviv enough to continue with this relationship and see where it goes, but it’s a lot to think about, it’s going to take more than a few days to consider, but the obvious difficulties of moving to a foreign country immediately spring to mind, the language barrier for example. I only know four Hebrew words: layla and tov, which put together mean goodnight; nu, which means come on, as in hurry up, at least that’s the context which Tel Aviv uses it with me. When he’s hungry he uses it in triplicate, ‘nu nu nuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!’ and then there’s chutini, which is the Hebrew word for thong, as in the underwear as opposed to the footwear, well actually maybe it applies to both; I’m not sure. My mother was slightly appalled that I knew this. I know, I shouldn’t have mentioned it, but I couldn’t help it, I was drinking cabernet sauvignon and it just sort of came up in conversation.

“Normal people would know the words for ‘hello’ or perhaps ‘my name is so and so’, but not you, oh no, YOU…you know the Hebrew word for g-string, how charming!!”

Well you’ve got to start somewhere when learning a new language eh.

The other concern I’d have is what would I do for a job in Israel? If possible it would probably have to be an English speaking position, because I doubt I’ll be fluent in Hebrew anytime soon. I have terrible trouble rolling my R’s. R’s, I said R’s, not…oh never mind.

Hmmm!! Jobs, jobs, jobs!!

Oooooh…….I know, I’ll sell the movie rights to my blog, naturally for millions, and live a life of luxury by the beach in Tel Aviv. Hey, it’s possible. After all major studios have expressed an interest…

…It’s true!!

Well okay, I’ll admit that technically I haven’t exactly been approached. Not directly, but according to my Google Analytics tracking someone from Twentieth Century Fox spent a whole 2minutes and 3 seconds perusing 2pages of my blog just before Christmas, obviously looking for movie fodder, so I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before that knock on my door and there’s Richard Curtis with a big cheque. Yup, my life is just begging to be made into a movie, because not is there only the initial film which will be about………erm………(furrowed brow)………well, whatever, there’s also a follow up which would be called…can you guess???

Go on have a wild stab in the dark?

Yesssss!! That’s right…

FISH OUT OF WATER!!!!

Obviously!

Or FOOW as the studio would refer to it during production. FOOW would, of course, chart my - often comedic - attempts to come to terms with life in the Middle East. Kristin Scott Thomas could play me. Actually Kristin’s a bit posh to play me, but I’ve been told by 4 or 5 people – on independent occasions I might add - that I look like her, so who am I to quibble. I don’t see it myself, but if you stand 100yards away and look at me through your eyelashes I’ll admit there might be a passing resemblance.

Phew. Sorted!!

That was easy. I’m good at this; I should be a life coach.

Obviously I'm being silly, but joking aside I have a lot of thinking to do. There’s nothing like a relationship dilemma to kick off the New Year in style is there.

Photo of Jerusalem courtesy of Premasagar via Flickr