Thursday, 3 April 2008

Nothing for ages and then two come along at once

Don’t you hate it when you have a first date with someone and it serves to make you miss an ex even more than before?

That sort of happened to me last night, I had a date with a guy that gave me pangs for Tel Aviv*, so much for ‘the only way to get over one man is to get under a new one.’

Well…not that I got under him. No no no, the date didn’t go THAT far. We just had a couple of drinks.

Now, before you get all excited, this date had nothing whatsoever to do with either of the sex-pots I came across on the day of Ash’s wedding: the hot Pain Quotidien guy and Cute Wedding Photographer Bloke. Nope, this was a random bloke that I met in a bar in January. I believe I was busy drowning my sorrows over my break up with Tel Aviv at the time and I exchanged business cards with him. However I didn’t hear a peep until this past Sunday; that would be Sunday March 30th, almost 3months since we met.

Obviously he was chomping at the bit to go on a date with me ;-)

He sent me an ‘up for a drink sometime?’ email on Sunday and I thought, why not, nothing ventured, nothing gained and all that, so we arranged to meet last night for a drink at the King Cole bar at the St Regis hotel. I had a nice enough time, although I have to say I found him a bit too conservative for my tastes, I really can’t see him getting down with his bad self at the Warm Up parties I like to frequent at PS1 during the summer, especially not as he gets up at 5am every morning. The haircut would also have to go, oh yes, the bonce would most definitely have to be chopped. His hair was in the same style as the haircut the Chris O'Donnell character had in ‘Scent of a woman’, a haircut that particularly hindered any appreciation I may have had for that movie (although I wasn't exactly patient with Al Pacino whoop-ah-ing his way through that film either). All I could think about when Chris O’Donnell’s character was on screen was how much I wanted to take scissors to his hair.

I hate to be shallow, but well…look at it.......the whole feathered flickiness of it.

Shudder!! Doesn't that hair style just have you itching for a pair of scissors??? It’s not a good look is it? It’s certainly not as good as the look below which Chris ‘did you know I have 5 children’ O’Donnell sports very well I think.

Heaps better right?
Also, you know it's not a good sign when you are looking at your date and pondering which of your female friends you can set him up with.
Ah well.
Next ;-)

Actually I have the next one all lined up, I got a note from Catweazle on Monday. He is in town 18-23rd April, so we are going out on Sat 19th. If he makes a good impression I may see him the morning of Sun 20th ha ha, yeah yeah I'm a big floosy. Hey leave me alone, Spring is in the air ;-)

Miles was disappointed that he and B won't be in town to ‘double date’ with us as they fly back to London on the 18th. Erm...yes Miles, that's exactly what I need on my second date with Catweazle, two gay chaperones. Honestly.

*I seem to be experiencing some sort of mild delayed grieving for my break-up with Tel Aviv at the moment. It must have been passing his apartment building on the way to Ash's wedding reception on Friday night that did it.


Sister Sassy said...

Go Catweazle! So.. 3 months is kinda weird. Maybe he spent 3 long months in therapy to help him grow the balls to email you.

fishwithoutbicycle said...

Hi Sassy, I don't think he lacked the balls to ask, more that he had better things to do. I think I was a bit of an after thought ;-)

Flowers said...

fish! i hate to think of you feeling bad and sad :(

it's completely normal to feel things for those before the present. it would be weird not to, in fact.

it's strange how we attach so much significance to those drifting sands, isn't it? my ex-girlfriend in japan and i (although both european we were on different continents for a while) were emailing each other regularly a couple of years back as we thought there was something more than there actually was. distance often gives you the space to test drive certain romantic, although unrealistic, moves.

the odd thing is that arm's length isn't always as good re heart-felt feelings and the bottom of the garden sh*t as we make out, is it?

anywaaaaay, truly, if you come across even 10% as fab as you do on this little corner of the blogosphere then you'll get (and utterly deserve) every happiness known.

cheers fish.

Mike S said...

Mayhaps he'd merely been allowing time to ensure you really WERE broken-up for good. A date with a person on the rebound who's still grieving the loss of a relationship isn't always the most enjoyable. just a thought:)

fishwithoutbicycle said...

Thanks Flowers, you are such a sweetie. I agree with you that it's completely normal to feel the occasional pang, you can't appreciate the ups without the downs now can you :-) Have a fab weekend!!

Hi Mike, thanks for providing an alternative perspective, however I don't think that was the case, because when I was chatting to him in the bar I never mentioned I'd recently broken up with someone. A few things he said were also telling, he mentioned a few times about his close friends being busy with their girlfriends, so I think he's just looking for the same. Nothing wrong with that, he seems like a nice guy, I just don't think we're a good match.

Amel said...

Ah...delayed grieving, ay? It's understandable. :-))) Hope it'll pass by soon, though.

And HAVE FUN with Catweazle!!!

HEY!!! I didn't know that Chris has 5 kids!!!!!!! WOAHHHH!!!!!

fishwithoutbicycle said...

Hi Amel, yes I think it's understandable given I passed his apartment on Friday en route to my friend's wedding reception. Memories came flooding back, but it is temporary and it's mild so I will be fine :-) Have a lovely weekend.

Anonymous said...

Oh, completely fine to get "pangy!" Well, acceptable is probably a better word as you may not feel so "fine."

Bloody hell, I get pangs for people I haven't been with in years! Forget "seeing" anything--well, them in my head *rolls eyes*

God, I can "pang out" all the time!

Not to make light...really. Just know you're in good company.

Relationships are so very strange don't you think? Of course, after one ends you will never forget it but some will affect you more than others. And I don't know about you but I don't think it has anything to do with duration. You can have something very meaningful and intense for a relatively brief period and something rather mundane for quite a while? I have.

Actually, it's the brief, intense ones that make me pang out! Makes sense to me. Not that I pine away--in the past. But you can still feel it, correct? It's become a part of you.

It is always easier to "forget" by becoming involved with someone else. Your mind becomes more focused upon that other person. Memories can be somewhat displaced (although not replaced.)

Oh, I love that expression too. It's always made me laugh. "...getting over by getting under..."

A temporary fix, I suppose? A more permanent one possibly if you can get a relationship out of it *shrug*

fishwithoutbicycle said...

Hi PA, I'm the same way, I'll have random pangs about a long lost relationship when I pass a place that reminds me of the guy, but they are typically brief. It's not like I am sat at home being wistful about Tel Aviv, but sometimes you can be out with someone who just isn't a good match - no matter how nice they seem - and it just makes you think "If only.....", but I truly believe that what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger and that no relationship is wasted, you always learn something that you can take into the next one :-)

Kitty said...

but you had grieved at the time, too. Not as if there were a completely delayed reaction.

I think that's almost a good thing. The next one will bamboozle you off your feet for certain.
at least you went out with this one, gave it a chance. It's all very good.

Dating is hard, I know. Hugs, dear. You'll meet Mr Fish very soon and I can't wait for it!!

fishwithoutbicycle said...

Thanks Kitty, you are a sweetie. Have a lovely weekend :-)

Blur Ting said...

Oh Fish, don't grieve. You have no lack of suitors! Just go out and enjoy yourself!

fishwithoutbicycle said...

Hi Blur Ting, I'm fine, I just had a mild pang for Tel Aviv last week. It's passed now ;-)