Tuesday, 1 May 2007

The case of the clairvoyant cabbie

I had the weirdest exchange with a cabbie last night. About half way through my trip home, with not previously so much as a peep out of the man, he – Mustapha - starts chit chatting …

Mustapha: You look like your aunt
Me: My aunt???
Mustapha: Yes, don’t you have an aunt that you look like?
Me: Umm…Not really
Mustapha: Well, you look most like your father’s side of the family, but with a bit of your mom

All the aunts are on my father’s side, so it’s possible. To be honest I’ve never been able to work out who I look like, but stature wise I definitely take after the leprechauns on my father’s side of the family.

Mustapha: You also like to read a lot”
Me: Yes, I do read a lot”

True I do read a lot, but quite a generic psychic insight, but here’s where he got me…

Mustapha: And you have stomach problems
Me: Ummmmm, well yes I’ve had some problems with my stomach

I hadn’t farted if that’s what you are thinking, but my stomach has been a bit dodgy lately, acidic and irritated and just not happy. I blame it on overdoing the wine when out with Francesca last Sunday – I just cannot resist that lovely Sancerre they have at Momofuku Ssam.....and don't get me started on the pork buns. Mmmmm!!!

Mustapha: (triumphantly)You see!!!
Me: Serious stomach problems?

.....what on Earth was I doing asking HIM if my stomach problems were serious???? God forbid I see a Doctor, but the word of a psychic cabbie is another matter, since obviously the first thought that popped into my head when he said that was…’Oh my God I have stomach cancer’…not that I’m partial to hypochondria at all.

Mustapha: No, not serious, but if you drink too much wine, stop it.

Phew thank goodness it's not serious, and no, I wasn’t trollied after a night out on the lash in case you're assuming he knew I occasionally like to imbibe from the wine fumes emanating from my pores. It was a Monday for God’s sake, I’m not THAT bad. No, not a drop had passed my lips; I’d been working late.

Me: How do you know that?
Mustapha: It’s the…um…(says a word in Egyptian), y’know, we have a connection of our spirits

Spooky!! Or maybe not; perhaps he just assumed I suffered from a sour stomach since almost everyone in NY seems to have similar issues, what with drinking too much coffee, wine and what not.

He also told me I was ‘too pure of spirit for New York’ and that I should watch that ‘people don’t take advantage of me’, and then proceeded to try and persuade me to rent an apartment from him in New Jersey. Hmmm!!!

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