Friday, 7 March 2008

I am so not looking forward to losing an hour this weekend*

Damn it, my 4pm meeting overran and now I am too bloody late to make the 6pm cardio kickbox class. I could have done to exercise a few demons this week too – okay, sorry, bad pun – as I have a new client who is driving me crazy by sending me emails that are entirely lower case and have ZERO punctuation. It hurts my head trying to fathom out what he's saying, but how do you nicely say to a you use punctuation and um…y'know, generally write like a fucking grown up for chrissakes!!!!

No, I don’t think that would go down too well.

Apologies for the swearing anyway, he’s been really irritating me over the last few days, although admittedly I’m slightly more impatient than usual today due to a slight headache and a gritty eyed feeling from drinking ever so slightly too much wine last night.

Now, regular readers of this blog may be thinking, “erm…weren’t you hung over last week too you big lush?” And yes, I was, but today’s discomfort is nowhere near close to the head thumping, stomach churning pain I was in last Thursday after a get together at Cibar. Today I’m just feeling slightly dehydrated and sleep deprived after another night out with my gal pals group, or my “Wino Wimmins Group” as Miles has taken to referring to it due to everyone’s tendency to suffer from a teensy bit of hangover the following day. He’s is both disapproving and envious of these evenings out with the girls telling me “it's not big and it’s not
clever!! But it sounds fab!! Can I come when I'm over**?”

Um….no, I’m afraid not Miles my sweet. We practise gender discrimination in the Wino Wimmins Group ;-)

Last night the WWG had drinks at Japonais, an Asian influenced bar and restaurant on Park Avenue South and 18th St. It was fun; the company was excellent, although I can’t say I was so keen on the venue. It was okay, but I found it more than a little formulaic in its Asian themed d├ęcor and there are more than enough of those places in New York already, Tao and Buddakan to name two right off the top of my head. For me these restaurants have too much of a mall-like quality, I swear the interior designers have a list for these restaurants:

"Let me see....Buddha statues. Check. Oriental drapery. Check. Lacquered trays. Check. Orchids. Yup. Do we have enough Bamboo? Yes.....righty ho Ermentrude, I think we're ready to open to the public."

I'm pretty sure they have that exact conversation :-)

Personally I prefer a place that looks a little rougher around the edges. I like the shiny worn look of seats that have supported 1,000s of bums - by bums I do of course mean arses, as opposed to people less fortun
ate than our selves. I like glamour, but it appeals more when there's something a little faded about it. The service was great though, our waitress was very sweet, and those who ordered bar snacks said the food was delicious. I got there early as I was supposed to meet Janine for a drink and a chat, but just as I arrived she texted me to say she was running slightly late. She’d made the mistake of answering a phone as she was on her way out of the office and got drafted into a mini emergency, so I let the hostess know I was there so she could direct the others my way when they arrived and sat at the bar sipping a saketini as I waited for social reinforcements, all the while trying to avoid catching sight of the old couple next to me - somewhere in their 60s or 70s I'd say - who were mauling each other like a couple of teenagers. I'm not a huge fan of overt public displays of affection and while I'm happy for them to still have some passion in their lives, these two practically had their hands in each others pants!!! Yes….right next to me!!! My God I was inches from accidentally being pulled into a threesome with them. Ugh, what a horrifying thought. Sometimes my own mind goes places I really wish it wouldn’t.

Anyway I hope you have fun plans for the weekend. I have the social obligation of attending Ash's hen party on Saturda
y night, the second such event I’ve been to in the last couple of months. This one is for friends in New York with the entertainment organised by Ash’s sister and held at our friend Judy's apartment. I have to say I was slightly concerned when Ash told me her sister had inquired if any of her friends were easily offended. She’s got a devious mind that one, so I did worry what vile things might be afoot, but relieved when I learned it would be at Judy’s. How bad could it be? Although then I started to worry she might have organised a male stripper to come to the apartment and ewww….no, no, no, the idea of being dry humped by some hairless, semi-clad and overly baby oiled bloke does not appeal in the slightest. If he’d have dared come near me he’d be likely to be on the receiving end of a swift kick to the nuts and a bill for my dry cleaning.

Thankfully I learned yesterday that there will be no stripper. Instead, for the sum of $700 - or was it $800, I know it was quite a lot - a woman from Babeland - a purveyor of bedroom gadgets – will be showing us "how to please a man", so I no doubt there’ll be a lot of tips on ironing, cooking and pouring beer ;-)

*Noooooo, I won’t be losing an hour because I will be hungover. Certainly not, what kind of lush do you take me for? Don’t answer that. No, I shall be losing an hour because the clocks are springing forward this weekend.

**Miles is coming to stay for a week in April. Yippeeeeeee!!!!


Sister Sassy said...

You're going to a SEX TOY PARTY!!! Really, how to please a man? So will it be instructional?

losing hours? I'm losing whole years with my lack of sleep... lol.

have a super fun time!

fishwithoutbicycle said...

Hey Sassy, yup, that's what the sister has planned for us. I believe it will be instructional. Who knows, I may learn something. Pity I don't have anyone to practice on currently. Maybe I'll take notes for future reference ;-)

Have a great weekend. Get some sleep woman, seriously ;-)

Mike S said...

At my age the time will be the only thing 'springing' around here this weekend. I detest DST! Perhaps you're onto something though, where'd I put my bottle of 18-yr-old single malt??

Kitty said...

lol. sounds like a LOT of fun!

have a blast, Fish, but don't hurt yourself drinking!

fishwithoutbicycle said...

Hey Mike S, thanks for stopping by. Good luck getting through DST. I hate it too, although I love regaining the hour later, so maybe it's worth it for that :-)

Hi Kitty, yeah I will be pacing myself tonight, although I'll be out with a lot of Irish women and our friend Judy is one of those women who can't bear to see a partially empty glass, she's always topping you up. It's going to be tricky.

Sister Sassy said...

Hey Fish, do you call people Limey Bastards? I do all the time. I say Bugger a lot too. I like British swears best.

Anyway, have fun tonight.

fishwithoutbicycle said...

Hey Sassy, I don't call people limey bastards because that's um...well kind of an insulting reference to British people, used by Americans not Brits. But I'm with you on the 'bugger' :-)

Sister Sassy said...

Really? I was certain that Limey Bastards referred to Sailors because of the whole Scurvy thing. Maybe I use it from the origin and am oblivious to what the meaning has become.


fishwithoutbicycle said...

Hey Sassy, you are right, it does originate from a name Americans gave to British sailors. It's not an extremely offensive term, but as a Brit I would never refer to my countrymen as limeys :-)

Dylan said...

I've been for drinks in Japonais twice, and I have no idea how that place is still's huge, and it never seems to be busy. Give me an old man's boozer any day...

fishwithoutbicycle said...

Hey Dylan, yeah the place is massive, it was half full when I was there, although the bar was busy. I assume they must charge and arm and a leg for dinner :-)

Blur Ting said...

Oh wow, Miles is coming over to stay? I would be so excited too, if I were you :-)

fishwithoutbicycle said...

Hi Blur Ting, yup, Miles and his boyfriend are coming to stay for a week on the 12th April. I'm so looking forward to it :-)