Sunday, 13 June 2010

Taking the plunge

So after finding out last week that my latest crush, Tom, was with girlfriend - of course he is, have you SEEN him? - and as a result having the small flicker of hope I'd been harboring extinguished, I decided that enough was enough with the unrequited crushes and that I should get back out there in the real world and give the old online dating malarkey another try, so last week I signed up for OkCupid - or OkStupid as a friend of mine fondly refers to it - and this weekend I got down to the business of completing my profile.

Now admittedly I am not a 100% comfortable with dating this way, but since meeting someone organically has not exactly worked like a charm I decided I may as well give it a go, for a little while at least. My friend Nigel - an old pro at internet dating who goes on at least 2 dates a week - has been enthusiastically egging me on with the expectation that I can at long last reciprocate and share a few entertaining war stories with him over brunch for a change and at the very least I am hoping it makes for good blogging fodder.

Unfortunately my general reticence at engaging in dating this way was not helped at all when not only did I come across a co-worker today - from my own department no less although he sits on a different floor so I don't see him on a daily basis - but also a CLIENT!!!!


The worst thing is that I find both men to be extremely creepy, the co-worker is one of those guys that invades any woman's personal space - if a woman is sitting opposite him having a work related conversation he likes to get close enough so that his knees are touching hers. Ugh. I don't have too many dealings with him these days, but when I did I remember I would scoot my seat so far back I was practically sitting in the hallway. - and the client frequently makes inappropriately suggestive comments, so neither of them are the type of men I was hoping to come across online, unlike say Tom or Strategy Hottie for example. I would be more than happy if I never came across their profiles again, but I suppose creepy guys are entitled to look for love too. Honestly I was so shocked to see their photos that I shuddered and hit the skip button each time to get rid of them as soon as possible and it only occurred to me later that I should have looked for a block or hide option so that they wouldn't see my profile the next time they logged on.

"There's something wrong with OkCupid's matching algorithm if you are coming up as a match for either of them," said Debs soothingly.

I certainly bloody hope so!!

To be honest I am not sure what percentage match I was to either of them since I was pretty sharpish on the 'skip' button and OkCupid doesn't seem too stringent on the match rate of people they serve up as potentially compatible, but I was more than a little freaked out to see them, especially my creepy colleague. My first instinct was to flea, to delete my account from the site and never darken the doors of online dating again. Being single really isn't that bad!! I quite enjoy it for the most part in fact, but then again it would be good to have someone around who could help change the light bulbs and other such gubbins - yes, I admit, I only want men for one thing, household chores that I am too short to do easily* ha ha!! Besides, it's not that I think either of them would message me, they are probably equally freaked out if they've come across my profile. No, it's more the embarrassment factor of them knowing I am on there. Fortunately I had to retrieve my forgotten password before I could act on my instinct to delete my account and in the time it took to do that sense had prevailed. I got to thinking that maybe I should stick with it just a teensy bit longer than 4days - could this be a sign that I am commitment phobic do you think? - and just ignore the fact that they are on there and hope they will extend me the same courtesy.

I suppose the issue is that I still attach a stigma to online dating even though I know plenty of people who openly do it so I'm trying to shrug off my own prejudices and go with the flow.

Wish me luck!!

*Seriously changing a light bulb is like Cirque Du Soleil in my apartment since I have to drag my small dining table into the middle of the living room and balance a folding chair on top of it to reach comfortably. Maybe instead of going through the torture of dating online I should just invest in some step ladders??


Ruth said...

I tried the on-line dating thing for a while - but since I live in Alaska where there are about 6 women for every guy, the outcome was considerably less than encouraging. I hope you have better luck than I did.

fishwithoutbicycle said...

Hi Ruth, are there really 6 women for every guy in Alaska? I'd always heard the opposite was true? The phrase I'd always heard about Alaska in terms of dating as a woman was that "The odds were good, but the goods were odd." I didn't realise there was such a female skew.

Amel said...

Well, whatever you decide to do, GOOD LUCK!!! I found my hubby online but not through a dating site. I found him through a penpal site about 11 years ago...started off as nothing just friends, so dunno much about dating sites.

fishwithoutbicycle said...

Thanks Amel

Kitty said...

ha! Good luck Fish, I think this is great!

if anything, it just gets you out even more. Summer is the perfect time for this.

I'm pretty sure a LOT of guys use these dating sites because they are smarmy and just want to bed as many women as possible. They probably don't enjoy being alone, either. But then there certainly those real good guys out there, honestly looking for a woman whose lightbulbs need a-changin'! ;-)

Mark and I met online, and his best friend and the best friend's wife met online.

Woohoo! I'm excited for you!!!!

fishwithoutbicycle said...

Hi Kitty,

I'm not sure I share your confidence, but we'll see ;-)