Help me I'm melting...

Omigod it’s hot!!!! Its 77F right now (26C) at 8.36am, with 69% humidity and due to shoot up to 93F come lunchtime. It's not the heat so much, but the humidity is KILLING me and after the subway ride into the office this morning I feel as if I need another shower. I couldn’t believe it when I noticed the woman sat next to me – yes I got a seat!!! - was wearing sheer tights (okay okay, I’ll say it, she was wearing ‘pantyhose’ – oh how I hate that word). Can you IMAGINE the hell of that in this weather? She’s just asking for a yeast infection that one. Ewww, I can’t believe I just said that.

All in all, I pretty much like the weather in New York; I like the fact that we have clear seasons and I love it when we get snow, however the last week in July, first week or so in August is not my favourite. (I’m not so keen on the tail end of winter either, but since that leaves me with roughly 10months of the year I don't mind the NY weather I think that’s pretty good going). The heat and humidity is oppressive and I'm often forced to decamp to the futon in the living room to get a decent night’s sleep, since it's the only room in my apartment with air conditioning. It's a fire hazard to have a unit installed in my bedroom window unfortunately since the fire escape runs by my window. Ahh I remember the halcyon days when I first moved here and I shared an apartment in a doorman building which had centralised air conditioning. That would be utter bliss right now.

As for dance classes, forget it. No salsa classes for me in the month of August, it’s too damn hot in those tiny studios. My friend Jacqui is in agreement and called me last week to let me know she wouldn’t be signing up for classes in August. “I’ve had enough. I’ve been dripped on by my last sweaty man for the summer. I’m not signing up for any more dance classes until it’s at least 20degrees cooler.”

The only good thing about the weather being this hot is that it curbs my appetite, so I usually manage to lose a couple of pounds. The year I moved into my own apartment I couldn’t afford to shell out $300plus for a decent air conditioning unit and instead I made do with a couple of fans. They are no subsitute for a 5000BTU air conditioning unit let me tell you. I was permanently taking cold showers to cool off and I couldn’t eat a thing. I lost 6lbs that summer. Although of course the impact of any summer weight loss is usually negated by all the water I retain so despite not eating as much my clothes feel tighter and I feel fatter. WTF!!! That’s not fair now is it?

So, some advice for any English people who may be reading this who have also been eyeing that oh so favourable exchange rate and thinking "Hmm that flight to New York looks a bit of a bargain for the August Bank Holiday" I implore you, DON’T DO IT!!!! You'll either spend your time walking around in the sweltering heat and bickering with your loved ones, or hiding out in your hotel room with the AC blasting. Better to spend an extra 100quid on a flight over in September when you can actually walk the streets plus you’re not greeted by the aroma of hot fetid rubbish everywhere you go. Trust me on this one folks, there's a reason that flight is so cheap.