Wednesday, 4 August 2010

I'm so annoyed with myself today!!

I bought a bottle of wine on the way home from Pilates last night!!!

I pretty much drank two thirds of it before pouring the last third down the sink!!


Bad bad bad bad Fish!!!

I don't know why I did it, I'd actually given up drinking recently in an effort to be optimally hydrated for my upcoming trip to Peru - I've heard that being hydrated helps with the altitude sickness, so I've been trying to ween myself off my addiction to coffee too. Not so easy!! - and I'd been feeling really good without it. So good in fact that I've been considering making a long term commitment to a teetotal lifestyle. Unfortunately last night my feet seemed to decide all for themselves that they needed a glass of Chardonnay and I made a sharp left into Yorkshire Wines & Spirits after I got off the crosstown bus on the way home from the gym.


I've probably undone all the good work I did in Pilates class!!


I'm irritated with myself because for one I'm generally pretty healthy about what I eat. I'm one of those people that, for the most part, is naturally inclined towards salmon salads with leafy greens or fresh fruit with yogurt, but I am bad when it comes to wine and while I think the occasional glass or two is fine...two thirds of a bottle??? On a Tuesday night??? So not good for me. I worry that I am on the road to becoming my aunt, the third of my Dad's 4 elder sisters - 4 older sisters, can you imagine the torment? Three of my Dad's sisters are short heavyset types. They are sturdy, bosomy women who look like they were made for corralling large broods of children - I have 13 cousins - however the 4th sister is physically very different from the others being more slender and petite.

Just like myself in fact. My sister and I definitely get our physical characteristics from my father's side of the family, we certainly don't have our mother's chest I can tell you that for nothing. The woman is a 38DD, whereas I am a significantly less well endowed, but acceptable, 34B. My sister on the other hand....two peas on an ironing board!! She wouldn't know an under-wired bra if it jumped up and bit her!! Don't feel too bad for her though because along with my father's chest she also got the long, incredibly blond, hair and easily tanning skin. Seriously my sister looks like the poster child for the state of California, whereas with my pale English complexion and dark hair I look more the poster child for the state of Transylvania!!

Anyway back to my aunt who along with looking just like me is also a recovering alcoholic, who at the peak of her addiction was more than capable of downing half a bottle of Cognac a day - I cheapskate brandy for her. My family doesn't have cheap tastes when it comes to our drug of choice - and well, doesn't alcoholism run in families??

I worry that she is my future!!

I suppose when it comes down to it I am using alcohol to deal with the stress I am under at the moment, but of course Chardonnay doesn't make the stress go away, it just makes me not care about it temporarily.

I also sleep after I've had a drink, which is the biggest benefit since I tend to suffer with insomnia. I have problems quieting my mind when I am stressed out. Still...alcohol is not the answer.

I need a better way of dealing with all the crap!!


Ruth said...

Don't stress too much for having "fallen off the wagon" as they say. Just pick yourself up and start over again. Today is a new day, and you can feel good about yourself for having AGAIN taken the pledge to be alcohol free.

That being said, I don't think the occasional drink of wine means that you are an alcoholic. Just because you have it in your family does not mean you yourself are destined to become one. It just means that you are aware of the problem and know what it does to families and friends, and can therefore make an informed decision when you do decide to have a drink.

Half a bottle... not so good. All things in moderation!

You should reward yourself occasionally by giving yourself a glass of wine - say once a week, perhaps on a Friday night to celebrate having survived the week. It will give you something to look forward to and you will satisfy any cravings you might have, yet still limit your intake and allow yourself to be well hydrated.

I've never been to Peru (and am so very jealous that you're going - I want to hear ALL about it) but I do know that being well hydrated is not an old wives tale - it really does help numerous traveling woes. Drink Up!

fishwithoutbicycle said...

Thanks Ruth. Unfortunately I am just not the type to stop at one glass, I will always have at least two, so I am thinking that my strategy should be to not drink alone at home. If other people are with me perhaps social pressure will keep me on the straight and narrow.

Thank you for your sweet and supportive note.