Monday, 9 August 2010

Putting A Hold On The Frog Kissing

Had a second date with H from OKC on Saturday night, we saw Sundance award winner, Winter's Bone, a cheery coming of age tale of a 17 year old girl searching for her bail skipping, crystal meth producing father - who charmingly put up the family home as collateral for his bail - among the toothless criminal element of the Missouri Ozarks, so that she can keep a roof over the head of her 6 and 12year old siblings and her mentally subnormal mother for whom she is the primary care giver.

It was a pip!!

Actually it's a good movie if you are into that sort of thing. Did I enjoy it? Kind of. Did I appreciate it? Absolutely.

As for H, well he's a nice guy, but...

Meh...I'm just not feeling it!! I didn't have a bad time at all, but I just can't see anything coming of it, there's no spark, no banter, but he's an interesting person, so...should I see him again? Could something develop down the line? Maybe, but don't hold your breath. I'm undecided whether to take it further since it kind of feels like I am leading him down the romantic garden path unless I say something first. Admittedly I did spend the entire length of Winter's Bone hoping that he wouldn't do one of those big yawn moves and put an arm around my shoulder, so I suppose that tells me all I need to know. I was kind of hoping he had the same platonic feelings, but we stopped by a bar after the film for a couple of drinks - so much for that teetotal lifestyle I'm supposed to be pursuing - and there was some touching on his part, a hand on my knee here, a pat on the arm there and then he rested his elbow on the bar and propped up his head and told me how much of an Anglophile he is and how attractive he found me.

I tell you, it's a terrible burden being irresistible to men!! ;-)

I also met another guy N last night in the bar of a restaurant just off Washington Square personality. It was kind of a painful date and I was wondering whether I would get through even 30 minutes of it, but then my friend Mr. Pinot Noir came to the rescue and I managed to string the evening out for 90minutes. There were a lot of awkward pauses though and he is just not into...well let's be honest!! He likes to run, cycle, read economics books and the NY Times, shop for clothes and that's about it. Admittedly he doesn't earn a huge amount, but even if he had all the money in the world I didn't get the impression he would live his life much differently.

"So do you ever travel?" I asked

"Not really no. Almost never," he said, responding in such a way that I just knew he didn't have the least comprehension into the whole joy of travelling. He seems quite content with never moving from his little corner of Prospect Heights, whereas I'm currently feeling a little bit boxed in by the entire city of New York. We sooooooo weren't compatible, his lifestyle would suffocate me, and I suspected the date was probably as awkward for him as it was for me.

"So this was nice, I'd like to see you again if you are interested," he said after we finished our second drink.


That threw me for a loop I can tell you. I wonder if he was just being polite, because I don't have the slightest notion as to how he could have possibly had a good time. I sent him the "I had a nice time but..." email this morning and then went onto Ok Cupid and disabled my account, at least for the time being. I am really not loving the online dating thing in the least right now. I just don't want be in a relationship enough to put myself through all the frog kissing crap and I have more than enough on my mind with work - I was up from 2am-6am on Saturday morning because I couldn't seem to quell the work thoughts from buzzing around my head. I'm also finding that I am drinking more frequently than I would like and I want to cut back on the wine and coffee for the next two weeks to be optimally hydrated for my Peru trip. I reckon the altitude may well kick my arse, so I want to be as healthy as I can be to cope with it.


Kitty said...

eh, I don't blame you. Those dates would set anyone running off into the cloisters.

Glad you disabled the account, instead of carrying around the ambivalent feelings. I do think guys feel obligated to ask about another date, or do it to keep their 'asking for the 2nd date muscles' in working order.

No offense of course, I am certain that you are adorable and a catch!! These lame-o guys however...

fishwithoutbicycle said...

Hi Kitty,

No offense taken I completely hear what you are saying about them flexing their 2nd date muscles, I was talking with my friend Megan about this yesterday and she had a similar experience of going on awful dates that she couldn't imagine either of them would want to repeat, but still being asked out for a second time. It forces us to flex our rejecting muscles.

Amel said...

I think it's a good idea to disable your account after all the things you've told me - not just about the dates, but about the feeling that you have that you're not really desperate in finding someone special.

fishwithoutbicycle said...

Hi Amel,

Yes I agree with you. It just doesn't feel right to me at the moment and it was just adding to my stressed out state.